Whether you are considering a career transition, or in transition – you need a solid foundation at home that enables you to be bold and fearless. Example: Our wives are typically our greatest supporters. But, a career transition (it does not really matter if it is considered or forced) makes them vulnerable. They can try to conceal it. But, you can see it in their eyes, body language – and, the bedroom /1.
I coach many professional people through career transitions. A terrific exercise is building your target. This is part of a “plan”. And, if the wife can offer legitimate input into the plan; and, that input is values and utilized, home life is stable. “Happy Wife, Happy Life”.
Phase I
Over dinner one evening ask your family to identify things and events in their lives that would make home life and their individual lives ideal. Next, envision the bullseye of a target. Divide the bullseye by the number of people in your immediate family. Each person has three (3) to five (5) things they can list. Examples: A job title, promotion, finding a job, moving to a specific state or city, making the Lacrosse team, better grades, philanthropic/ volunteer work, etc.. This helps get the family started on the same page. It opens everyone up and gives you a sense of how to maintain equilibrium during what MIGHT be a challenging time.
Phase II
Next, discuss what you are willing to do individually, and, as a family to achieve the group goals – and, help one another achieve individual goals. Envision the white circle around the bullseye. This is called the “concessions” circle. Examples: Making more sales calls, getting an MBA, relocating, joining a volunteer group, studying, training, etc.. List these items withthe name of each member of the family around the concessions circle.
Phase III
Discuss and carefully consider what you don’t want in your life. Examples: NOT relocating, not willing to travel for work, not willing to work extra hours, pornography, wife working outside the home, etc.. Place these “things” around the out red band of the target. This is simply stated, the “NO” circle.
You now have a very clear picture of what the family needs and wants. Create a copy (Adobe Photoshop is a good way) /2 You can now manage this with love, conviction and purpose. Blow up the bullseye and place the image on your homes refrigerator. This is a place where everyone in the family will go at least once a day. The bullsye is a bold and graphic reminder of what the family needs and wants. You can now condust your career search with this important criteria in mind. Along the way the family should discuss the target at least once a week. Every thing on the list is “open season” for discussion. This allows and enables the entire family to be part of the solution.
Here is something to consider… If Dad is out of work, this can be a very stressful time for the family. However, if elements of this are on the target you have an opportunity to discuss the situation and steps taken to make the right changes. This means the kids can ask how the job search is going – or, what is happening with MBA classes (or, how Dad is handling the new boss). If you are out of work, rally your family by including a new or better job (and, the other things on the bullsye) in the prayer. This is a terrific opportunity for Dad to show his children that he can navigate a difficult situation with integrity while loving them in ways that never change.
Having a plan always works. This process enable the family to pull together and adjust as necessary.
Call me with questions at 404 451 4799 or email me at brian@bchcroi.com.
Brian Patrick Cork
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1/ This is a real fact of life and must be addressed; and,
2/ It helps if someone in your family is handy with a computer (shameless pug for Apple)
Filed under: Articles By Brian Cork, Business, Coaching
